September 25, 2011

Meet Beer2-D3

Author:
September 9, 2011

Beer2-D3 is a distant cousin of R2-D2 made from a mini-keg… Definitely, the Geekeest way to drink beer :)

(Art and photo by Paul Loughridge)
Read more about it on the http://starwarsblog.starwars.com/index.php/2009/03/17/meet-beer2-d3/

QUESTION: Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC?

ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask:

  •  - The Catholic Church’s approach to characters: The nice characters go to Heaven, where they are bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty characters are punished for their sins. Naughty characters are those involved in the creation of naughty words, such as “breast,” “sex” and “contraception”.
  •  - The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is good, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher character. Those funny characters above the numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, and lower-case letters will become upper-case.
  •  - The 20th-century bitter cynical nihilist explanation: Who cares? It doesn’t really matter if they’re on the page, deleted, undeleted, underlined, etc. It’s all the same.
  •  - Stephen King’s explanation: Every time you hit the (Del) key you unleash a tiny monster inside the cursor, who tears the poor unsuspecting characters to shreds, drinks their blood, then eats them, bones and all. Hah, hah, hah!
  •  - Dave Barry’s explanation: The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek, Michigan, where they’re made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not flammable. I’m not making this up.
  •  - IBM’s explanation: The characters are not real. They exist only on the screen when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to de-conceptualize them. Get a life.
  •  - PETA’s (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) explanation: You’ve been DELETING them??? Can’t you hear them SCREAMING??? Why don’t you go CLUB some BABY SEALS while wearing a MINK, you pig!!!!

 

Author: Joel Garreau

August 14, 2011

NEW -Different color from previous design

ALL NEW -Parts not interchangable with previous design

EXCLUSIVE -Imported product

UNMATCHED -Almost as good as the competition

DESIGNED SIMPLICITY -Manufacturer’s cost cut to the bone

FOOLPROOF OPERATION -No provision for adjustments

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn’t understand it

IT’S HERE AT LAST! -Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

FIELD-TESTED -Manufacturer lacks test equipment

HIGH ACCURACY -Unit on which all parts fit

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -We finally got one that works

REVOLUTIONARY -It’s different from our competitiors

BREAKTHROUGH -We finally figured out a way to sell it

FUTURISTIC -No other reason why it looks the way it does

DISTINCTIVE -A different shape and color than the others

MAINTENANCE-FREE -Impossible to fix

RE-DESIGNED -Previous faults corrected, we hope…

HAND-CRAFTED -Assembly machines operated without gloves on

PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period

MEETS ALL STANDARDS -Ours, not yours

ALL SOLID-STATE -Heavy as Hell!

BROADCAST QUALITY -Gives a picture and produces noise

HIGH RELIABILITY -We made it work long enough to ship it

SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound

NEW GENERATION -Old design failed, maybe this one will work

MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction

CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer’s, upon cashing your check

MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED -Does things we can’t explain

LATEST AER0SPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

July 24, 2011

I am sorry, embedding is not allowed for this one, however… you can watch it directly on YouTube. Enjoy!

Tiempo libre…

Author:
May 30, 2011

RAID Pictured

Author:
May 22, 2011

A no-brainer, non-geek presentation of what the different RAID levels mean.

Geek Theology

Author:
May 20, 2011

In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero.

On the first day, he toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was. (In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and “active low” signals didn’t yet exist.)

On the second day, God’s boss wanted a demo, and tried to read the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the universe wasn’t. God learned the importance of backups and memory refresh, and spent the rest of the day (and his first all-nighter) reinstalling the universe.

On the third day, the bit cried “Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me a sign!” And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, even better than the original prototype. Those in Universe Marketing immediately realized that “new and improved” wouldn’t do justice to such a grand and glorious creation. And so it was dubbed the Most Significant Bit. Many bits followed, but only one was so honored.

On the fourth day, God created a simple ALU with ‘add’ and ‘logical shift’ instructions. And the original bit discovered that — by performing a single shift instruction — it could become the Most Significant Bit. And God realized the importance of computer security.

On the fifth day, God created the first mid-life kicker, rev 2.0 of the ALU, with wonderful features, and said “Forget that add and shift stuff. Go forth and multiply.” And God saw that it was good.

On the sixth day, God got a bit overconfident, and invented pipelines, register hazards, optimizing compilers, crosstalk, restartable instructions, microinterrupts, race conditions, and propagation delays. Historians have used this to convincingly argue that the sixth day must have been a Monday.

On the seventh day, an engineering change introduced Windows into the Universe, and everything has worked right ever since.

May 19, 2011

PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI: System Can’t See It
DOS: Defunct Operating System
BASIC: Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
DEC: Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW: World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs