August 14, 2011

NEW –Different color from previous design

ALL NEW –Parts not interchangable with previous design

EXCLUSIVE –Imported product

UNMATCHED –Almost as good as the competition

DESIGNED SIMPLICITY –Manufacturer’s cost cut to the bone

FOOLPROOF OPERATION –No provision for adjustments

ADVANCED DESIGN – The advertising agency doesn’t understand it

IT’S HERE AT LAST! –Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming

FIELD-TESTED –Manufacturer lacks test equipment

HIGH ACCURACY –Unit on which all parts fit

DIRECT SALES ONLY – Factory had big argument with distributor

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT –We finally got one that works

REVOLUTIONARY –It’s different from our competitiors

BREAKTHROUGH –We finally figured out a way to sell it

FUTURISTIC –No other reason why it looks the way it does

DISTINCTIVE –A different shape and color than the others

MAINTENANCE-FREE –Impossible to fix

RE-DESIGNED –Previous faults corrected, we hope…

HAND-CRAFTED –Assembly machines operated without gloves on

PERFORMANCE PROVEN – Will operate through the warranty period

MEETS ALL STANDARDS –Ours, not yours

ALL SOLID-STATE –Heavy as Hell!

BROADCAST QUALITY –Gives a picture and produces noise

HIGH RELIABILITY –We made it work long enough to ship it

SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE – When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound

NEW GENERATION –Old design failed, maybe this one will work

MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS – We got a good deal at a government auction

CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY – You can return it from most airports

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE – Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way

BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES – We finally got it to fit together

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED – Manufacturer’s, upon cashing your check

MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED –Does things we can’t explain

LATEST AER0SPACE TECHNOLOGY – One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

Leave a Reply