Geek Famous Quotes

Author: evilches
October 11, 2010
  1. Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.
  2. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
  3. When Life Gives You Questions, Bing has Answers
  4. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
  5. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
  6. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
  7. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
  8. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
  9. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
  10. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
  11. Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
  12. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
  13. A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?
  14. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  15. You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
  16. Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button.
  17. Never make fun of the geeks, one day they will be your boss.
  18. Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
  20. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
  21. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.
  22. Better to be a geek than an idiot.
  23. That's a PEBKAC problem. (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
  24. Who needs the library? I've got Bing!
  25. You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
  26. A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
  27. Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.
  28. 9x-7i &< 3(3x-7u) = i &<3 u :)
  29. COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  30. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.  – Dennis Ritchie
  31. Hand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk.
  32. I reject your reality and substitute my own.  – Adam, Mythbusters
  33. The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
  34. Who needs friends? My PC is user friendly.  – Scorch
  35. Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about Rock-n-Roll.  – Shigeru Miyamoto
  36. Well It looks like an ID10T Error
  37. I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking “What the hell is this guy doing?”
  38. Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue.
  39. Be rude to a bully and he'll beat you up, be rude to a geek and your computer will never forgive you.
  40. I see fragged people
  41. I don't care if the software I run is unstable crap, as long as it is the LATEST unstable crap.  – Lennart A. Hansen
  42. Without geometry, life is pointless.
  43. F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
  44. Who wants to be cool when you can be a nerd
  47. Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
  48. Nerd-a person lacking a life and completely consumed with education.
    Geek-the same as a nerd, but take out education and insert “computers”.
    Average person-Nerd, but take out “and completely consumed with education”.
  49. I was uncool before uncool was cool!
  50. I'm not nerdy. I'm intellectually endowed.
  51. SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue &> 0
    – returned 0 results
  52. In case you haven't noticed… Geeks are totally in. – JuliA JardinE
  53. The hard drive on your computer will only crash when it contains vital information that has not been backed up. – Murphy's Laws of Computers
  54. Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.
  55. When all else fails, just hold ctrl + alt + del… – electrohydro_squad
  56. Who ever called geeks anti-social, we have a social life!!! Haven't you ever played World of Warcraft or Starcraft?
  57. Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.  – Saw it in gentoo forums
  58. LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
  59. Be nice to nerds… One day you will end up working for one!
  60. What's the death? just CTRL+X in this world and CTRL+V in another world!  – amino (flasher geek)
  61. The truth is out there… anybody got the URL?
  62. Computers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.  – Sam Ewing
  63. It is not that i am bad at communication, it's my dumb User Interface.
  64. If you think C++ is not overly complicated, just what is a protected abstract virtual base pure virtual private destructor, and when was the last time you needed one?  – Tom Cargil, C++ Journal
  65. I just can't seem to hack your heart and spam you with my words.
  66. A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
  67. I love you more than a geek loves computers!
  68. Math is like love – a simple idea but it can get complicated.
  69. There's no place like
  70. I want your source code so I can make you Love only me….  – Shharukh Issani
  71. If you want take a trip, just select a source and a destination… create a motion tween…  – amino (flasher geek)
  72. You are like a bad sector in my heart, doesn't goes even if I format thousand times….  – Shharukh Issani
  73. Geeks are the strongest people in the world. Too bad our strength is in our brains.
  74. The only dating computer geeks think of is putting dates on projects.  – Oleg Vishnepolsky
  75. A geek is to a computer like a mechanic is to a tool.
  76. May the mass times acceleration be with you.
  77. Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Bing.
  78. To vote a leader of the country is like choosing best and experienced programmer that has more reserved ideas to build, debug and tweak the country. Not like novice programmer that still need to review and collect basic ideas on how to debug and tweak the county!  – PisoCoin
  79. You don't understand what you are to me! I'm the phone, you're the sim card. What good is that phone without its memory. The only thing the phone can do right now, is hope the sim card doesnt find another phone… a better one… one with a full keyboard…  – purpleedeedaa
  80. I'm not slacking off. My code is compiling.
  81. God is real, unless declared integer.
  82. C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void
  83. Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
  84. Unix…best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038
  85. How's my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
  86. JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash
  87. Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives!
  88. When someone says “I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,” give him a lollipop
  89. A typical yahoo chat room: “A has signed in, A has signed out, B has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out..”
  90. Earth is 98% full … please delete anyone you can
  91. C++ is a write-only language, once I wrote programs in C++, but I can't read any of them
  92. Ah, young Webmaster… Java leads to Shockwave. Shockwave leads to RealAudio. And RealAudio leads to suffering
  93. I'm sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
  94. Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will be delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
  95. Having soundcards is nice… having embedded sound in web pages is not
  96. Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
  97. Shut up, or I'll flush you out!
  98. Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
  99. Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
  100. Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
  101. “Mr. Worf, scan that ship.” “Aye Captain. 300 dpi?”
  102. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
  103. If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
  104. Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
  105. Thank god, my baby just compiled
  106. Black holes are where God divided by zero
  107. To err is human…to really foul up requires the root password.
  108. Reach out and grep someone. –Bell Labs Unix
  109. Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are
  110. (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
  111. Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
  112. To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so
  113. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
  114. Does Fuzzy Logic tickle?
  115. BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
  116. Best file compression around: “rm *.*” = 100% compression
  117. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
  118. The beginning of the programmer's wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
  119. Every time I touch my code, I give birth to ten new bugs
  120. It's not bogus, it's an IBM standard
  121. Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
  122. How do you tell an extrovert engineer from an introvert? An extrovert engineer will look at your shoes when he talks to you.
  123. Let’s say only you & DEAD people can read HEX. If u teach your buddy how to read HEX also, what do you all have in common?
    You are all DEAF.
  124. A mathematician tells a colleague his wife just had a baby. – “Is it a boy or a girl?” – “Yes.”
  125. Ascii stupid question, get a stupid Ansi!
  126. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because… 31 OCT = 25 DEC
  127. I’m a dyslexic agnostic with insomnia… I lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog!
  128. Does Twitter employees use Excel when their boss is not around?
  129. You must be the square root of -1… because you can’t be real